Hello everyone! Today I thought I would share with you what happened to me a couple of days ago, which involves me just being Autistic!
I was in my local city as I had done a talk back at my school about Anxiety and how my Autism effects it. One of the many things that makes me anxious is change. Change is every Autistic persons worst enemy! We like having routine, structure in our lives and being in familiar places and this makes us happy!😊
So, as it was lunch time I decided to grab something to eat before catching my bus home and as always, I was on my way to the same cafe I always go to, Pret A Manger!
As I made my way through the busy, rainy city, I found another Pret A Manger! It was obviously brand new as I had never come across it before. I stopped a couple of metres away from the entrance and had a thought.
‘Maybe I could go in here for a change.’
Yes, you heard that right. I ‘little miss don’t like change’ was actually going to give change a go! I took a few steps towards the entrance then froze.
“What am I doing?! No! It’s going to be okay! I can do this, its the same cafe just in a different place and, it’s closer to the bus station…. Wait, what if I they don’t have the baguette I always have?! No, don’t be silly of course they will it’s the same bloody cafe…. But it’s not…. It’s in a different place….They have different seats!! I don’t like this, I don’t like this, I don’t like this! Why doesn’t it have the same furniture as the other one?! The food is all displayed differently in the fridges!! It’s all wrong!! There’s too many people!!”
This all went on in my brain for five minutes and in the end I ended up going to the one I usually go to. The thought of going in there instead of going to the other Pret made me feel uneasy and very anxious. It wasn’t apart of my routine to go there. I couldn’t cope with the fact it was different, wasn’t familiar and that it was pretty packed.
At least I tried, the thought was there! I tried giving change a go! I know that to a lot of people, this wouldn’t bother them and it wouldn’t mean anything to them. A cafe is just a cafe, even if it’s the same chain. But to me, to someone with Autism, the small changes can be a big deal to us.
Maybe one day I’ll give the new Pret a go… maybe.
See you soon!